random acts of the mindless

These are couplets taken from the rhymezone site where there's this competition for writing the most romantic first line and most unromantic second. Here are a few of the entries:

Warning: Don't try this at home!

After you, my love, my only prize
Would be a bullet between my eyes

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you're not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space

I saw your face as you walked by
but then I saw a better guy

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"

Look at those eyes, look at that face,
good God, someone, hand me my mace!

I would go to the ends of the earth
To kick the tramp who gave you birth

You've brought such joy into my life
My friend, I'm sleeping with your wife

Those words I spoke were true and grand
But "I love U2"? I meant the *band*

My darling, my love, you've stolen my heart
My wallet and my car, you thieving tart!